


Two stupid boys, two stupid boys

by Hawaiian_shirt_daddy



Category: Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986)
Genre: Crack, Dicking Around, I Don't Even Know, I guess this is crack, Not Beta Read, Rhymes, This Is STUPID, This is literally just based off of an occurrence i had irl, but cameron's my favorite, but it's okay because i love him, cause I'm mature, duh - Freeform, dumb jokes, ferris being a bitch, he's so weird, my grandpa is the most famil friendly person i know, poop jokes, rated for language, still don't know how to tag, who the fuck do y'all think i am, why did I write this, with my grandpa of course, wtf are you talking about
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:41:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28105674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hawaiian_shirt_daddy/pseuds/Hawaiian_shirt_daddy
Summary: Ferris and Cameron are bored, so Ferris tells his bestie some terrible rhymes to make things not boring.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	Two stupid boys, two stupid boys

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so these rhymes are things my grandpa tells me almost weekly and I was thinking about how Ferris and Cameron would react to them, because they're literally the dumbest yet funniest shit I've ever heard.
> 
> *sigh* idk why I'm posting this

Ferris lay sprawled across his bed, his head and arms dangling off the edge. The sunlight emitting from his window was blinding to his eyes (though it wasn't actually that bright, he just hadn't opened the curtains yet that day). He chuckled to himself, replaying a funny rhyme he heard from some old geezer at the bowling alley the other day in his head. 

Cameron was carefully making a castle of cards on Ferris' bedroom floor, excited at the progress he'd made. A few more of these damned cards and it would be finished, he thought. He didn't know why he was putting any effort into doing something he'd eventually have to ruin. He was bored, that was for sure. Him and Ferris had been sitting inside all day watching silly game shows on TV, and at one point, Ferris' mom asked for help with baking cookies. Maybe he wanted the feeling of satisfaction.

But he wouldn't get that satisfaction, because Ferris moved his foot in a way so perfect and calculated that it was impossible to have been an accident, and knocked the entire castle down. Cameron's hand quivered, dropping the last card to join the others in the pile. 

"Damn it, Ferris," he huffed. "There was just -- I only needed to put the last card on top."

Ferris sat up and shrugged. "Sorry, Buddy," he said. "Must've been a twitch."

"It wasn't a twitch, you asshole." Cameron stood up. "You kicked it on purpose and you knew... you knew I was really focused on that."

Ferris raised his hands in surrender. "Hey, I was just laying here and I didn't even see you messing with those cards."

"Bullshit."

"How?"

"Well, what did you think I was doing?" Cameron gestured to the floor below him. "Sitting here thinking."

"You do that type of thing a lot, though," Ferris said. He sat with a blank stare, mimicking Cameron. "You kinda just -- y'know, space out."

The taller boy crossed his arms, clearly unamused. "I wasn't this time, Ferris. I was stacking those cards."

Ferris shrugged again. It seemed to Cameron that that's all his best friend could do when someone was upset with him, shrug. That's not to say Cameron was upset. Well, he was a little angry, seeing as he'd been working on that castle in a pleasant silence for over ten minutes. But he could never get too upset with Ferris.

Yeah, he did stupid stuff and always dragged Cameron with him for every adventure, but it was enjoyable. To an extent.

Ferris laughed again and reached a hand up to tap his friend. The taller boy looked over with a glum expression, but Ferris was determined to change that.

"Hey, you know what some old guy told me at the bowling alley Friday."

"What?" Asked Cameron hesitantly.

" 'Two Irishmen, two Irishmen digging in a ditch..." He paused for dramatic effect, but it just made Cameron annoyed. "One called the other one a dirty son of a -- farmer's daughter, farmer's daughter sitting on a rock."

Cameron's frown was slowly upturning into a smile at the nature of this rhyme, so Ferris continued.

"Along flew a bee and stung her on her -- cocktail ginger ail, ten cents a glass. If you don't like it you can kiss my -- ask me no questions, tell me no lies. If you get hit by a bucket of shit, you better close your eyes."

Cameron was grinning, but Ferris didn't seem to think that was a big enough reaction.

"What, have you lost your sense of humor?"

"No, it was funny. I'm just pissed that you think that counts as an apology for wrecking my castle." He thought a moment, then raised an eyebrow. "And why does the farmer's daughter have a cock?"

"Oh my God, Cameron, that's not the point."

"Why not? It doesn't make sense."

"It's not supposed to -- it's just supposed to be funny."

"Well, it's a little silly."

Ferris' eyes widened. "He told me another one-"

"Oh, God-"

"Went upstairs looking for some gin, fell in the shit pot up to my chin." The boy was already cackling. "Couldn't swim and I couldn't float, a big...hehe... a big yellow turd went right down my throat."

Now Cameron was in tears. He fell back on his friends bed, holding his stomach and laughing like a maniac.

"Really, Cam?" Ferris snickered. "The shit one got you?"

But Cameron couldn't answer, he was too busy trying to breathe.


End file.
